Pinhead (johnldhf) wrote,

SME '04 - Some more MST


As a reminder, I decided to start writing about Mystery Science Theater 3000 because I really think everyone would find something to enjoy about this show. It was on the air for 15 years, starting on cable access in Minnesota on Thanksgiving 1988 and ending on the Sci-Fi channel in January 2004.

Joel and the botsMike and the bots

I heavily encourage my friends, and whoever else stumbles onto this, to do yourself a favor and find out why the show was on the air that long.

For everything you could possibly want to know about the show, please visit Satellite News, now the official home of MST3K on the web.

On with the episodes...

Leech WomanLeech WomanLeech Woman

The Episode: 802 - The Leech Woman
IMDb page:
Episode Thoughts: I took these episodes home to Houston for Father's Day, kind of cool to watch them on the same VCR in the same room they were recorded 5 or so years ago. And the tapes are in good shape too so I was again able to go to bed in a good mood while I was there. Anywho my next episode was the second of season 8, The Leech Woman.

You know, this movie wasn't all that terrible. It was bad, sure, super cheesy, but you know it wouldn't have been torture to watch it even by itself. And for a black and white movie, I guess that shows how much I've grown up over the years. Or lost my marbles and am regressing into an idiot. Regardless, this was a really good episode.

One thing to point out is that, since I did tape this in reruns, it was way out of sequence with what I was watching before (the start of season 9). And that doesn't matter at all. Like I said somewhere down there in the post about Deadwood, MST3K is the one show you don't have to watch in any sort of order. The funniest host skits are the ones that tie into the movie anyway, so you can use the ones that revolve around Pearl and Bobo and Brain Guy that don't make much sense to go to the bathroom or get a drink. The first few segments had to really focus on things outside the movie, because it was only their second show on Sci-Fi and they needed to ground themselves on a new network with a new audience. So the host skits aren't that great, but it's obvious they're really trying because they wanted to succeed once the show was given a second life.

The rest of the episode is hilarious, I was actually enjoying the movie somewhat so the riffs just made it better. Oh, the plot. This movie is about this asshole doctor guy who finds the fountain of youth, in the form of an 800 year old African lady. She tells him she'll show him the secret if he pays for her ticket back to her people. He does, and follows after her with his older wife. So they trek across the magical land of stock footage, and finally arrive at the campgrounds they were shooting at. Turns out the secret to youth is the death of males, so naturally the wife decides her idiot husband should be the key to her renewed beauty. Problem is, it only lasts for a few days, so she turns into a serial killer to keep her good looks.

Good episode, funny movie.

The film: D+
MST3K'd: A


The Episode: 907 - Hobgoblins
IMDb page:
Episode Thoughts: Finally, Hobgoblins. Just by the name you just know you're in for something big. And it doesn't disappoint. Hobgoblins is AWFUL, and they turn it into one of the funniest episodes ever. I didn't think it could get worse than Puma Man, but I was very very wrong.

If you've seen Gremlins, you have a general idea of what Hobgoblins wants to be. A movie about funny little green puppets who haunt Phoebe Cates. Well, Hobgoblins kind of gives up on itself after they made the puppets. For some reason, this old security guard is housing the hobgoblins in an abandoned movie studio, in a vault that isn't even locked. We open with his new assistant disobeying his warnings, and waltzing into the open vault, where he promptly dies. The new guard is equally stupid, and eventually lets the goblins out, where they ride around in golf carts like you see in the picture above.

For some reason the movie makes the hero this idiot assistant security guard, and they follow him around in his pathetic life. His friends are Wang Chung groupies, and his girlfriend hates him. The first glimpse of his home life is witnessed in the other scene pictured above, a grueling duel involving garden tools with one of his best friends. Yep. So anyway the whole gang gets involved in the chase for the hobgoblins. Hooray.

The secret of the hobgoblins is that they can read your mind, and make your wildest dreams come true, which ends up killing you. So the army guy goes to war, the megadork gets a hot chick, and the nerdy hateful girlfriend turns into a stripper. So we follow the gang into the strip bar, which in no way resembles the bowling alley they filmed in.

The hobgoblins eventually are chased back into the vault.. somehow.. and the old guy blows them up. We are all left wondering what stopped him from doing so years ago, and the credits roll.

I put this episode on the night before I came back to Austin, and left it on to see what my dad and sister thought of it. Kind of a test to see what new people thought of the show. They were both laughing their asses off the whole time we had it on, and that was gratifying. I love getting the word out about things I'm passionate about, especially when people enjoy it.

The jokes are excellent, and the host skits were excellent. So, it is my honor to award Hobgoblins my first below failing grade for a movie. I didn't think it was possible, but they pulled it off.

The film: F-
MST3K'd: A+

Touch of SatanTouch of SatanTouch of Satan

The Episode: 908 - The Touch of Satan
IMDb page:
Episode Thoughts: Well, this episode ended up pissing me off, and it was entirely my fault. I'd usually tape these way back when on Saturday mornings right after I woke up, and I'd eat breakfast and do homework and watch my show. Well, most of the time I also tried to edit out the commercials to make it easier to watch. Usually it worked out fine and there were no problems. Well, if I could travel back in time I'd kick myself in the ass whatever day I recorded this, cause I fell asleep at the wheel.

The episode starts out great, it's the first movie I remember that totally reeks of the 70s and it's pretty hilarious. Then halfway through, I cut out a commercial, but the problem is I don't start the tape back up. I only missed 1 segment of the show, which is like 10-15 minutes, but it totally pulled me out of the show. I had no idea what was happening in the already hard to follow "plot," and it just pissed me off. So if you end up getting some episodes from me, make sure you wait till I get a revised copy of Touch of Satan. Same thing happened on Prince of Space too, but I'm pretty sure I went back and made it a point to re-record that one. So I'm the one that loses points, cause as horrid as these movies are, you still want to see the whole thing.

The rest of the episode really is very very good. The host skits were funny, and the movie reminded me a lot of Squirm. This hippie guy (from Austin I believe, he certainly looked like a drag rat) Jody wanders across the country until he comes to a walnut farm somewhere in Alabama. He decides to have himself a picnic, and he meets this decent looking 70s bimbo. Of course they fall in love in about 3 seconds, and she begs him to stay. To grow walnuts forever and live in peace, Jody thinks. Turns out the bimbo is a 200 year old witch, who is protecting her sister or something, pictured above. It was about at this point I got really confused, and that was even before my goofup with the tape.

Turns out she needs Jody to believe in witches so she can be free of her curse, and eventually somehow she's freed after they do it, and he wakes up next to this 400 year old grossness. He ends up selling his soul to Satan to save her, and thus everyones screwed and the movie ends. If only I had the full episode, it was shaping up to be excellent. Instead, I give myself a B+ and end this post.

The film: F
MST3K'd: B+

If you're afraid of jumping into episodes, go out and rent MST3K: The Movie. All stores should have it in the comedy section. I'm interested to hear what you think.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded