Pinhead (johnldhf) wrote,
Pinhead
johnldhf

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Six months in the life of the Duddits

So it's been six months since I last wrote anything. All that post said was that I was back in Kingwood and it sucked. I guess much more than that really went without saying for people familiar with the town.

So is the right question why post now? Or why the break? I mean, my life over the last 6 months has been actually very eventful. During most of my streaks of heavy posting I was doing practically shit. Weird how that works when you have the most desire to write when you have nothing to write about.

So why now... well, besides being really bored at work, I just wanted to write out some of things that've happened to me before the details all start to get muddled.

I did move back home in mid August, and went through 4 of the longest months of my life seemingly. I didn't absolutely hate every minute, but I did hate the feeling of being trapped and helpless back in Kingwood. I had finished college, got a (well paying even if terrible) job soon after and was living in a nice apartment in a town I love(d) with my best friends close by. I then lose said job, blow my money on a new computer and fail to find any sort of new job. I even applied at an adult novelty store in hopes they'd be overjoyed to pay a college graduate to deal with sleaze. I guess I was wrong and they were content to keep their employee pool full of hobos.

Anyhow I came home and basically felt like a giant failure. I tried finding some of my high school friends who were still in Kingwood, but that was a stupid idea which didn't pan out into anything. Only thanks to Chris and Amanda did I ever get out at all, and that was rare.

My first couple of months I didn't even look for a job, I basically did nothing at all. Finally I agreed to start coming to work with my dad, and I'm still trying to figure out if that was a giant mistake or not. He was in a management position (director of financial planning) at a life insurance company. I started to come here and study for a big exam to follow in his footsteps as I started to compromise my hopes and dreams for the primal desires of cash. My dad paid me cash like 100 a week or something for that first month or so, just to sit around and study and help him type word docs and stuff.

Well I should try to make this less winded, but after a short time I was offered to take over as the IT person here. The current one was a 40 year old part time mom who wouldnt work full time and her dad used to run the place but was ousted in favor of this early 30 something asshole no one likes. Anyway I accepted. I took over as IT on like October 1st, and they finally started cutting me a paycheck.

Normally you'd think a full time IT job would be tough and have to be run by this computer whiz with a bunch of certifications and things like that. Well I am far from a whiz, and this job is in all honesty kind of a joke. I despise insurance salesman (which is everyone here with the exception of 5 staff ladies) and their computer needs are rarely anything outside of spyware.

I thought my time at Dell was full of idiotic people causing idiotic drama. Well Dell has nothing on this place. Since my first day in here it has been nothing but head scratching idiocy and stomach turning dramatic soap opera fun and games. How these people justify paying themselves 6 figure salaries baffles me.

I guess the only real pertinent story to share involves my dad. He was brought on to build a financial planning department. That's a wholllleee lot different than selling insurance, which is what this place does. Financial planning looks at wealthy individuals, their investments and needs, etc, and helps them protect and distribute that money to turn like 5 million at age 35 to 15 million protected at retirement. Anyway trying to perform a service like that in an environment like this was never ever fun or easy. Which helped my father and the big boss man of this agency to never get along. The boss is an incompetent frat boy clown shoes douchebag that no one likes, but my father was very vocal about it.

Cut to about a month ago, I get pulled into a small room by said clown shoes telling me he has fired my father. Over the telephone no less. With no warning or anything. He then proceeded to make up all sorts of lies and horrible stories to try and justify his actions. He went so far as to say my father was drunk on the job and things to that nature. I came so close to hitting him in the face I caused some small blood vessel to pop in my left hand.

And yet I am still here a month later. Why? Well my dad was very insistent that I continue to get paid, and fuck the boss over when I have something lined up, leave on my terms and really tell him what I think of his establishment. I simply can't afford to be without a job for any amount of time, and neither can my dad. So both of us becoming suddenly jobless and the Lee household would asplode along with our heads. We're already having to sell the Idaho house (we would still keep 100 acres surrounding it, but the house is most likely gone) and to be honest I'm not sure what all else they're having to do to stay afloat but it is incredibly high stress and irritating.

He's still looking for a job, I mean I know how hard it was for me to find a job that paid over $10 an hour, imagine how much it would blow having to find one that paid 80-100 thousand a year... I mean ugh.

So every day I come in here and sit at my desk, try to mind my own business until I'm forced to interact (usually to run Ad-aware or clean up an outlook mailbox) and count the hours until 5:30 comes every day. Now they're trying to dump all sorts of duties on me which could cause me to snap depending on how much they suck, but we'll see. I had to learn publisher and put out a 12 page newsletter, one of my great monthly chores. I actually did a good job, but I really want to start making it a very hidden slap in the face to them. Anti-corporate cartoons, articles, something. Something they'd find humourous even though it blasts them completely.

Wow... I sure wrote a bunch about work. On the home front there are big changes there as well. Family tension really boiled over in late November and early December... hadn't been that ugly since sophomore year high school. Once they started paying me, I decided to move out. I moved down to the galleria area on December 18th. It's an incredibly expensive apartment I really shouldn't be living in, but I did it anyway and I love it. Things quickly mended homefront once I was no longer there and I guess moreso when we united in our hatred of our (now just my) boss.

Our house in Idaho was actually broken into in like October, and I got to go up there twice during Oct and Nov. Anyway point is we got some insurance breaks cause of the stuff they stole (big screen TV, dvd player, kitchen and bed stuff... it was really weird what all they took like towels and sheets). The catch was we had to buy replacement stuff for them to reimburse for the depreciated value. Sooo... I now own my own big screen TV. Was actually delivered on New Years Eve from the home theater store. It's a 55" Sony LCD and I'm in love with it. I got HDTV from Time Warner and watching even American Idol in hi-def is amazing.

But even the TV and the apartment couldn't make me happy while all this shit was going on in my work and home life. Frankly for awhile there I was absolutely miserable. There was only one thing that kept me hanging on throughout all of that until finally I was practically forced to be happy again and am now left with a sense of permanent contentment at my lowest, and the most pure sense of happiness I've ever had at my highest. I guess it's pretty obvious what I'm talking about. Her name is Christina.

I've known her for coming up on 3 years. I've actually written about her before in here somewhere, although I never really got into detail or anything because up until recently everything was just so undefined, confusing and I was just so unsure about it all. You see, it's long distance. She lives in Tulsa, well at least for now, she's getting ready to relocate to Virginia. For the first year and a half after we met (through a friend of mine) we just became really really close. I honestly think it's impossible to get to know someone as deeply as you do when you're forced to interact like this, from a distance. We started getting feelings even though we were both fighting it, but it all came crashing down like a lot of things in my life... I guess that was back in September 03. She met someone, and our undefined relationship was gone before it ever got a chance to really begin.

I'd get the occasional IM, but it wasn't until she finally realized she was dating a retard in July that she waltzed back into my life. It was completely unexpected, but I guess it was unsurprising how easily we got back into each others minds and before long, hearts.

We started talking on the phone pretty heavily and often, and finally finally started making serious plans to meet. And it happened. January 7th is a day I'll always remember. Now I can say, proudly, for the first time in years, that I have a girlfriend who I love, and who loves me. I've been to Tulsa twice now, including this last weekend, going back in a week and a half, and she'll be down here for a couple of weeks in March. Getting to see her often, talking every day, everything feels right. Everything feels good. And none of it really feels new either. I mean, I've known her so well for so long, these recent developments just feel like the natural steps in a 3 year long chain. Like it was coming for so long even with a 8 month detour. All the idiotic bimbos I dated and the idiotic douchebag she dated in the downtime just affirmed that we actually make a hell of a pair. She's right for me. And I love her.

What happens next, how people knock down the walls of distance permanently... I don't know. The comforting thing is that I'm willing to wait and see, and excited to find out.

Also really helps me that Brian is in like, the same exact position. His woman is farther away... West Virginia near Terry, but being in similar situations at the same time... I dunno it just figures. And we get to talk about it like girlies and all sorts of fun stuff.

I went to lunch before that last paragraph, and realized I have run out of steam. Maybe I'll try to add some pics to spice it up we'll see.

For now, here's some links of stuff, I wish I had some pics of my chica and I but we haven't gotten a chance to do that yet.

My shitty job: http://www.brockfinancialgroup.com Take notice of how anal retentive the boss looks.
My TV: http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000666C00.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
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